For once on time

After the last two posts it's now nice to getting back to a regular deposition in timing of blogs. And I nearly missed this as my parents decided to dig a whole, great, effing great.
 Here is the writings, the first part is messing with syntax of the writing, or the order of the words, the sentences I messed up our the first three sentences;

The Bear Roared Loudly.

Jack subsequently died of freight and Charlie Green head exploded.

The night was Chilly and so was Hal.

Roared bear the loudly.

Fright of Charlie, head and Jack exploded? Green Subsequently.

Chilly so? The was and! Night was Hal.

  Was fright loudly, subsequently Hal! And head so night of roared? The green bear, Chilly the Jack was died exploded.

  Hal and fright was, Chilly so Exploded? Died of Jack loudly! Charlie Head so; green bear the, night.

This next one is a poem based on an item in the room, try and guess the item;

  I flare and die,

My job is simply to melt away,

I’m given a flaming heart,

So that they may see,

But I see those glass bulbs,

They shine, but not by some wicked flame,

Oh, what a sick life I’ve got,

If only I could scream, my spine is incinerated,

My flesh vaporised,

If I could only scream, there would be no poetry,

Or romance, or light in a powercut,

Only my scream as I’m burnt away,

To be the slave of flame,

A single flame, the single thing I know,

Who is likely to have a shorter life then me,

For I’m a voice bound in my own flesh,

Wax.

This third piece is an  deep detail of a character, it's a little odd, thats what it is;

A spidery frame, thin arms stretching forth from his t-shirt, which hung from his forth like a flag, he was just that much skin and bones. His Denims had thin legs but even those failed to exaggerate his features, for only his legs where skinnier then his main body. His feet where uncovered and scared from walking over stones, but their considerable length out did his legs which where short and squat compared to the rest of his lanky body. His face was continuing with the thin theme, and his moustache was twirled like that of a mad genius. His hair was short and only the strength of it’s red colour differentiated it from the cut of soldiers. His eyes where deep set and his nose long and extended, it’s hook extremely exaggerated. He had side burns which went to his chin, which was completely bold. His face was beset with wrinkles by the bucket load, and his teeth, well, they where perfect, all white and crisp, they looked more like pearls then teeth.

This final writing is we wrote one or two word on a piece of paper, hid the words and passed onto the next person. The Italics are mine, the bold is Ellen's and the normal is Virginia;

The Neon dream fly a yellow void.

The forgotten hot air balloon cooks a sleepy maze.

The blue tree wanders a translucent chair.

  Not much going on but the Leaving and Junior Cert have finished, so I won't get to paid for sitting on my ass anymore. But I just drew mazes, which are as hard as hell, MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I've been watching a Youtube series called legend of Zelda Abridged by Adamwestslapdog, I give you a link to the first episode, here. Unfortuantly the sequal series was never continued, which sucks.Not much else going on but if anyone wants me to comment on something leave me a comment,

    the unemployed couch potato

 

One week no Blog

'Ello, 'Ello, sorry about no blog last saturday but I had no writing, also not much was happening. The only thing was that the Irish state exams started on Wednesday last week, and I've been sitting outside the test rooms to make sure no-one cheated in the corridors, which if I had not been writing my first novel, I would have gone mad. The novel will be called The Silver Viper and will be a (sorta) Science-fantasy, and I'm not going to be putting up any of it so you'll have to wait for it, but I'm also not sure about how book copyrights work, so I'm not risking anything, I'm really sorry! But enough chit-chat,  time for this week's writing;

       This first one is speed writing with the title of DEATH OF THE CLOWN;
The circus was burning down, and Mr.Bam-Boom-Boom grinned an evil grin. All the little children would cry and ask questions, the animals would run wild and maul people, the midget would be crushed and that one clown would have his face melted as his wig burned, oh yes, sweat vengeance, sweat, sweat vengeance. He has now paid for that malicous act, and Mr.Bam-boom-boom would be freed from that one memory, he just had to do an evil laugh.
      Dr.Elk stared into the padded room as the patient laughed madly. Poor case, a child genius traumatised by a clown, a jar of high quality pickles, sevral carrots and three hundred issues of the Empire magazine and now has lived for three years inside the Asylum, unaware of the world around him and stuck in some sort of dream.. If it had been thirty years Dr.Elk would have 'removed' him, a waste of space, life and resources.

This next one was inspired by a map of Oxford done in Ye Olde Style:
   Caydis looked at the public map on the outside wall of the tavern. He was amazed how all the temples, Villas and colleges where scattered over the back of the islands of Calicon. Calicon was a city built on a archipelago between the sea and the great Lagoon of Eaan, and streched between two pincers of land that seperated the lake and the ocean. Only the palace and  the Senate where not in the posh area, but on one of the pincers of land. Caydos touched the map with a finger and the area he touched enlarged and showed the street in greater detail. By a building marked South Western Tram Station was a smaller building simply called Guild-House 'Iron-Angels'. He touched a small button on the bottum left corner which changed the map from streets too the layout of the tram line. Which he studied and smiled, like the guide said; Bosan port row had a tram to the Soutn Western tram station, but where was this stop? Caydis turned to face down the street and see four post with clocks not alligned to the proper time, that must be it.

    This one was inspired by a picture of a disected worm;
The worm was hungry, it's jaws gnashed themselves, he had never had a set of jaws before, but then again, he had never thought of anything before. His primative and primal mind was content with just eating and digging, but no more. Not since that voice had changed him, that sweet soft femine voice, with only the very slight undercurrent of an undertone of the most diluted form of the weakess anger ever to exist. He was changed, now he had scales, and jaws, and claws, and fangs, and horns, and a tongue, and a brutal intelligence, an itelligence with one food source, one duty, humanity. The voice had told him the world had suffered by their wicked, greedy and unrelenting hand, and now they must, DIE! It saide their meat was a sweat as compost but he didn't care, no longer a mortal beast, he had a new, unsatified craving, one all consuming hunger of a desire, the screams of man-kind.

This one is a mutliple person piece, my line is normal, Virginia is bold and Ellen is italic;
   The sun was shinning, today would be perfect for a good day for eating Ice-Cream, which is why he ate Fondu. It was so sweet, he thought he was going to melt like candy-flan. The Sweet goodness seeping into the open wounds on his lips mage him laugh in delight.

 Who enjoyed those? Well your kinda of sick if you do, or I'm deluded about humanity. But not much going on but I got my test results, all A's except for Irish and English, I'm awful at Irish anyway, so you might ask why I didn't do well in English, I'll tell you. Not to be insulting to my English Teachers, but the english course is like a lobotomy with club. It's not good for the creative world, also it's killing of the poetry business, and it has no real purpose, but I think it should be focused on Journalism or Report writing, honestly it would be better as people would be getting marks for a skill they'll need in their lives. The only other thing I've been doing is playing a video game called Spectrobes Through The Portals, does anyone else play it?
    The Dark Turnip Eater,
                             Me
              

I am really, really, really, really sorry about being late, again.

Sorry everybody that I'm late with this blog post but, I got hold up on Saturday with some stuff and I don't go on computers on Sunday, partly as a break from the computer, but also to keep the Lord's day holy. YES, I'm religous, get over it.

           Kinsale has a poetry night every first friday of the month in the Kinsale Book Shop and I went their for the first time last week, which was fun(nish). Here are two poems I put forward last friday:

Bitter-Sweet Liberty

Liberty is an honour

Not a taste most are allowed to enjoyed,

And now summer is here,

But I cannot shed even one tear,

For we are free,

But only from freedom,

As summer has risen,

And the testes are gone,

But I’m still alone,

And only a distant memory of a forgotten shadow

Omnipotent Flame

Rising above us all,

Staring it above us on a thrown most tall,

This judge of god, wraith of summer,

Which melts our mind till we are dummer,

Who burns us in a wave of heat,

But gives of the light to ripen the wheat,

Who are we to judge that star?

He is immortal, We are mortal,

Doomed and damned and cursed and vile,

So who are we to judge the Judge of God?

So what do you all think of those two little poems? I'll now put up the stuff from my regular Saturday writing course, both are stream of consciousness style of writing. Basically the internal monologue of JD from Scrubs but writen not a voice over.

Scott watched the fire ball in his hand.
 How I love the dance of Flames, like a hundred people dancing to the music in a disco. How I miss Charlseton's dancin'-'all, it's blaring light, the glory of the DJ box, and how easy the girls fell for me.
Scott sighed his thoughts and threw the fireball at the carriage side making it disapate into smoke.
 I miss home, but I can't go back, it's just ruins now, burnt by my hand. Argh, I never asked for this, not now, not ever. The fire in my hear burns a hole into reality, and sure I've got superpowers, but 40, I won't live long enough to do anything. I'll just be an old withered man ready to die on some street, and I'll won't get any support for my life from government. I must find those shards, I've got two already.
Scott looked at his hand as it imergedfrom his pocket.
They're beautiful, like glowing rubies, but wait why isn't that part glowing? Ah shit, they've cut me again! I'll need a bag for them, or I'll bleed for the fire wing. How I hate my existance, orphaned, cursed, hunted and now cutted. How much worse can it be? Some alien abmomination jumping down from the ceiling and ripping open my guts and eat my liver? I've already had to deal with super natural horrors, why not Sci-Fi? Well at least the walls of this carriage would be painted a nicer colour then grey of teacher. Now if only had some spray cans, Ha!

That was based on novel idea I've got, which I'm starting to think I should write it like that, I would be interesting. The next peice is just some set alone writing, but it's got a hyperlink, so enjoy the video on Cracked!

Craig spat into the chocolate vat.
Why did I do that? It's a cruel expiriment, horrible and no-one will probally notice. It' not like the spitle will survive, the chocolate would be as smooth as ever, as sweet and true. My I'm evil, but they deserve it, I've my whole life for a higher quality of chocolate, and they just scoff it down like the cheap stuff. It's not that I hate the cheap stuff, I just despise the habit it creates, no appriantion of their chocolate anymore and they keep on treating it as the low quality junk, so they deserve what they get. The cheap chocolate us like the stabilizers on a bike to help support the child in their first few cycling trips, not give them bad eating habits when it comes to chocolate. It's to get them hooked to chocolate, Oh wait, that makes chocolate sound like a drug. Should stop watching Cracked videos in how cereal mascots are drug pushers of the cereal, stupidly brilliant Cracked!

I like Cracked, it show you all sort of fun facts like; how to prove if a real man is also crazy, Ten plants that are absolutly insane, the vehicles of real (insane) animals, and six things science can't explain! So now you can reach true (*cough**Cough*) Enlightenment. Also they have classic photoplasty competition's which rock like crazy. I hope you will also enjoy this stimulating critque of modern life that is http://www.cracked.com/, and yes I did just hyperlink it again to emphises my point!

 Last week I had my summer testes and for some reason I just did squat awful;
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But at least I got holidays, YEAH! But then I had an accident on Wednesday, to which I fell onto the ground and sevrely hurt my lower back ( back, not botox before you say anything.) And I was in cripping pain for the rest of the week, more, well, um;
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also sneasing hurts as it force me crumple my body ans cause excutiating pain,
  The painful one,
                Me, Myself, and an eye!

A few hours later then usual

Hey all, life is so-so today, and that is that. This post is a few hours later then most, but that is not import, Ellen was not in writing this week, which is import, as it means the writing activities where not that great:
The first was about putting together verbs with nouns, they'll be coloured and underlined.

"And that is how a dragon killed my entire home city except me!" Boasted the bold man across from Caydas. Caydas just stared at him and pointed at the door, to which the ruffian walked to in much digust, this was going to be a long day. So he tapped his fingers on the desk waiting for anybody to come. He placed a crystal on a stone and spun it, carving a picture on the slate. He missed his home but the dancing crystal reminded him of the glories of his city. He was about to get out of his chaor and leave the recruitment centre when a shadow meadered across the slate, the stone faded from the light.  The shadow was monsterous in form, like some sort of flying fiend, a destroying monster, something that if you killed, it's blood would hunt you down and drown you, painfully. He looked and saw not one but three figures. A smaller then average green skined Orc, to whom gadgets and gizmos hung to, a rather bald gnome with a large axe and a human girl with dragon horns, tail and wings, in expensivly posh but pratical clothes.  The girl bent down to go face to face with Caydas.
" Ye want to join my group?" Asked Caydas, the girl raised her eyebrow,
"You're the only one here, so I geuss you woild be joining our group." replied  the girl.
"Actual I've got a robot wizard and a human, but nymphomaniac, ninja. The only thing is they haven't meet yet." Retorted Caylas.
" So normal trees lie and birds guard-" The girl as the door smashed down by a blast of magic and a machine ran across the room being chased by a female, and rather buxom, ninja, with the robot screaming:
"Catdas, save me fro this madwoman!" Caydas simply dropped his head to the table, this was going to be a very long week.

This other story started with a line page 999 from a book:
" The french also being the most sociable, vanist and least selfdependant." Read Thane outloud to his cohort, who shook her head in relpy.
"Too well known a country, and that hardly describes their ambassador to this meeting," Said Lucius as he walked into the room, Thane and his cohort, Margret, looked at him.
"He is mostly untouchable and doesn't mind comments on his misstress. Bloody French Bastard." Continued Lucius " Thats why I've picked who we are going to blackmail, the ambassador from Licheinstein. I've found plenty of blackmail on him, mostly deals with terrorist. Perfect for fighting those damn Americans. Suzzy and Clark are already on the job." Thane thought for a second about this;
"So Mr.Cain, what are we doing for this plot." He asked Lucius smiled,
"Thane, you're making masks of you, Margret, Suzzy, Clark and Me. Margret you get the dry cleaning back five o'clock. We've got to arrange an alibi so interpool can't pin this on us, even though the evidence on camera says otherwise.

This week was only so-so, our graduation was so SSSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEDDD,
I had to make a speech on BT Young Scientist, Yeah! ( Sarcastic). And our funday was only so-so, I don't know why. I think I got legal depressed, I'm not quite sure. But that's not all the evils in my life, I wasn't invited to a party on thursday, AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! But  I don't care after a certain point, modern-mainstream-music is just annoying.
Actuall, has anyone seen the New Scrubs episodes? I think Lucy is just to winny to be a good lead character. Dew is a much better character to follow then Lucy, he is snarky and clever, like a young Dr.Cox except without a ponytail ( Mentioned in one episode.), plus he would have an excuse for the voice in the head, he didn't haven't anyone smart enough to talk to in, so he created a voice in his head to talk to.
Two Last things:
1) Watch this video, it give some good points on it's subject, and watch the others.
    &
2) Martin Woodhose doesn't quote Chuck Norris facts, he says something and suddenly Chuck Norris can do it!
         The Random Quoter,
                                    Myself

Some hell of a exciting (boring) week

The hour of joy has arrived, I'm putting up another post. Today, might be the apocalpse but if you read this beyond tomorrow, don't worry, unless seven angels are on the news for giving speeches at sevral speeches, then we're SSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD
But otherwise okay. I'll now put some writting onto this blog. The first I had to use five particular words, they are in italics:

Morgan danced around the room,
His feet pranching across the attic ceiling,
life was sweet,
life is sweet,
life will be sweet,
as his enemies fall and his fortunes rise,
so the world rumbled,
as you stagger in his shadow,
your life broken, like a fallen vase,
as your corpse is beyond a fence,
which hides those demon beastes,
of that madman's twisted ambition.

The Next Twelve are Haikus about the classical elements. They are in groups of three for each element, in order the elements will be shown as: Air, Fire, Water, Justice.

Oh Sky Eternal,                           Endless Wraith of air        Electricity,
You can be grey, blue and red,    Oh Justice of Hurricane    The Thunder of this weak race
ceiling of the earth,                       no man can match you      blood of our cities
Ps: I count Lightning as a part of the air element

Oh ye Blissful Sun,                     Volcano, please sleep,                 Great and Mighty Forge,
Thine heat and light give us life,   Your lava blood and flame bile,   bend the ancient will of earth
Day made only for you               are a blight to life                         Scion of the heath

Oh Noble sea vast,                  High and great Winter,                   Enjoyable beer,
Of salt and water and fishes,    Manifest death is your cold,            Greatness in our saddess day,
Our forebearers home             for your biting maw                         Liquid thought changer.

Oh Life Holding earth,        Desert, we fear you,                       Castle, tall and strong
father of forest and hill,       Your sand and your heat murder,    Even in death you marvel
The soil is your gift             kife in your is death                         Solid Memory.

I hope you enjoyed those haikus, I wrote about nine as the girls in the writing class took to write five poems, I'm just that fast a poet. I could make new poems at a peotry meeting while giving a 'reading', it would be so funny to see everyones face as they realise what I was doing! I was collecting money for The Chernobyl Cause on thursday. You should help them as they help children with radiation poisoning in Kazakhstan, which when in the time USSR had one third of the world's nuclier testes, 500 bombs over 40 years. You own Kazakhstan your money if you laughed in the Borat movie, you evil people! So help those poor mutant children in their orphanages, also help the poor children in Ukrane ( where Chernobyl is.)

 I did my GAA exams, which don't really matter to me, as I'm not a sportperson. Also a Martin Woodhose fact: I you say a Chuck Norris fact to someone who already knows it, Martin Woodhose knows where you live.
  The Elemental Maniac,
                             Myself

No Writing Course

I had no writing this week as the two girls weren't in, which is kind of annoying, but for all you guys I'm going to put up two old stories I had written in the past:

The Armarda,
  "Yar, you sill'a planet lovers, your planet is now under attack by my armarda of space pirates." Roared a voice from the telescreen, Garet just shot the device with a lazer gun and it fell to the floor and smashed into sevral thousand shards of metal. Most of the customers in his bar ignored this sudden moment of chaos in their sea of drunken swearing. Only a young man in a soldier's uniform showed any signs of shock and fear. Garet walked over to the young man while drying a glass flaggin.
"Aren't you afraid of the pirates?" Asked the young man but Garet just shook his head.
"No worry kid, all ships that enter this sector fall out of the sky from our planet's gravitational field and crash" Relpided Garet never looking at the man but at the flaggin. "All that is going to happen is sevral space ships will be wrecked and ten thousand pirates are going to need new jobs. So where are you from kid, your accent says Galnor or Kalpalic?"
" Galnor, a town called Cydnis, I just hope the rescue party comes soon." Continued the Galnorian. Garet merely tutted ans walked away - they were all the same, thinking they'll be saved but just stranded in this, his, bar.

 The City of Diabolo was called the twisted city not because of it's strange and unusual and freikish architechture but because of the complete lack of morals amonst it's ruling class. They would wear costumes and kill people in strange and unique ways as a sport. Shaun remembered Dammed-Chocolate-Man, Funny Dog and Lost Hunter, his old school chums, each with a nickname to hide their identies, like anyone actual could stop them, if anybody even cared. But shaun was only called Calous Shaun because he killed his fellow nobles, for the sport of it.  Seven lives too his name, and seven truly great names. His three old training partners had been killed by public beheading, which had made him famous across the city. The four ironic deaths that followed where mor fun: Forgotten Abaddon (stewed in a soup of corpses for his death by canibilism), Numb Achilles (thrown into an electric power plant for electrcuting his 'patients'), Mellow Eros ( Liver failure from alchol overdose which matched his drugging of young adults) and lastly Cursed Souless ( who was thrown of a skyscrapper simple because Shaun couldn't think of an Ironic way of killing a man who changed his exicution methods). And now he was going to kill Meloncoly Valkerie, but how do you kill someone who uses chrisma to convince people to kill themselves?

 So if you have anyways to kill such a person please send me a comment! I've had the whole week off school as I;ve been training for Meitheal team next year, so wish me luck with that. I also say hello to anyone who is reading this from Meitheal. For those of you not there, I'm sorry it was fun! We played alsorts of Icebreakers and stuff. But I'll tell you this: Pins and straws are not fun things to make statues out of. Also I will now give the worlds first Martin Woodhose fact; if you put a box on a table and Martin Woodhose is in the room his head will appear under the box if you pick it up!
                                         The Meitheal Ninja,
                                                                   Myself

The Return to Monotonism.

Hi'ya y'all and stuff. I have returned to the absolute boredom that is my school life. But today I have written some more peices of Pros in my writing class:
   The first was a story that I had to write in one page of my note book, the second had to use five out of ten words, and the third  was one line was written by each member and then handed over to the next person and continued on such a style.

 Maze:
   The blade slashed through his flesh, cleanly along the muscles grain. Hyko twichted with the pain and then slammed a fist into the monster's belly. The creature stagered back, and Hyko leapedinto the air spinning so his foot smashed into the thing's twisted face. He heard it's bones shatter and it scream as it's brain was ripped into ribbons as the bone fragments danced through like lepers through tar. Hyko cursed as the screams echoed across the labarythn. He was in a dead end and those, those things where after him. He twitched again at the pain of his cut and ran. He didn't know where to run to, or if there was an exist but that didn't stop him. If only he could find a medic or a first aid kit and he would survive.

Words: Jester Pint, Armchair, Tree, Irish, Juju, Crone, Blank, Comprehensible, Solstice. Words used in Italics.

    Old Mrs.Fian sat back into the Armchair as Marcus patroled through the shop, it was dark and only lite by th twilight steaming through the window. Her chair was behin the V-shaped counter, with various charms, gizmos, brochures and random objects of power the hung from ropes that dangled form ancient Irish oak beams of the ceiling. The counter had a slope of glass that protected various grimories and more valuble objects, the walls where  lined with shelves of the least valuble objects.
" Looking for something Marcus" Asked the crone as she chucked down a pint's worth of  water down the sink after cleaning a new charm all the way from Ireland,
"Yes" He replied not stopping to look at her. "I'm looking for something special."
"well" She asked, her tone rising from blank too fury.
"Yes" He remarked finally looking at her, "This"
He put down a photo onto the desk. She snatched it up and grinned at the photo.
"Now, I have that piece." She replied to his action.
" How Much" Bluntly inquired Marcus,
" Depends what this all means to you!" Was her reply to his last question, her grin twisting like a maggot in soft flesh.

    Switch: My lines are underlined, Ellen's are bold and Virginia's are in Italics.
        Nova looked around the room , nothing behind, nothing in his son's room or under the bed, so he switched of the lights. And hid inside his cupboard. Waiting for the dawn to bring him home. He knew that his race where ugly and twisted with scales of orange and eyes of red and talons of death, but the humans beyond the bed where the real monsters. They chartled and gurgled in mouthfuls of tea, sweat tea and milk and honey and blood, and the sun rose in the horizon.

     Oh and a piece of advice, vampires smell of obvious of death and also, surprisingly, vanilla! Long story, but useful advice. Also, I'm  proud to annouce the Osama Bin Laden is dead, and before you say anything, that is a bad thing. His death only makes a martyr, and martyr create more trouble then they solve. Anyway no-one had heard him plan a terrorist plot for at least four years, which is bad. He should have been captured, trialed and then when found guilty and be brought to every talk show and public event in chains, purely to mock Al Qaeda. But the question is this, will Bin Laden's death become an America Holiday, it would probally be the only holiday of annual celebration about a horrific war crime. But lets hope no such maccabre events happen.

       Also was the 25th anniversary of Chernobyl on Tuesday, which was a bummer, espacally for someone who suffered it's effects and I am truly sorrow for you and wish you the best of luck.
                                      Swearsy McSwearsalot,
                                                                      Myself